So let's recap this cycle real quick...
We were doing our "Clomid Challenge Cycle" and getting all of the routine tests out of the way so we could move on to bigger and better things like IVF. Well, back on June 1st, I went in for my follicle check. The right ovary showed nothing worth mentioning. The left ovary was the one that had had the massive cyst on it for so long, so when we saw an 18mm "something" We assumed it was the cyst that had been there for months...I'm thinking now that was a 18mm follicle.
This past weekend, we went on a road trip to Sacramento for my husband's Grandfather's birthday. It's about a 6 hour drive from where we are in southern California, so when I had lower back cramping driving up there on friday, I thought nothing of it and just thought it had to do with the long car ride. Saturday I had the same lower back aches, but this time accompanied by waves of nausea and lower abdominal cramping. It happened a few times during the day and I thought I was getting sick. Sunday driving home, all the aches and nausea kept coming in waves and I was just so uncomfortable. My uterus and ovaries felt lke they were going to explode but in all honesty (here's TMI Amy again) I hadn't gone #2 the whole weekend (yes I have a wierd problem where it's hard to go on vacation) so I thought it was all from being constipated. We went out to dinner with my parents for Father's day and came home.
That night I was still having bad pains. Mike had already gone to bed and it was about 10pm or so. I still was feeling horrible, and then had a random thought that "Oh, maybe I'm going to ovulate!" I ran to the bathroom, after only holding it for about 30 min-an hour, and peed in a cup and used an OPK and saw the darkest positive on an OPK I have ever gotten. When I had gotten my OPKs out a box of FRER HPTs fell out of the cabinet and I just thought..."hmmmm, really really dark OPK, I've heard of it happening before...what the heck, when do I ever get to test??" So I dipped a HPT into the same cup and set it on the counter. I left the bathroom for literally about 90 seconds came back and there was a BLARING positive! I swear I almost fainted!
I took the stairs 2 at a time to get up to our bedroom to Mike and flipped the light switch. He half sat up and looked at me squinty eyed. I ran over half hysterical laughing, half hysterical crying which Mike later told me made him think that I had officially lost it....
...I threw the test at him....
...I yelled OMG is that real!?!?...
.........and then I fell to my knees on the floor at the side of the bed and BAWLED my eyes out.
Every tear that I have ever shed in the past 2 years has been worth it for this exact moment. God is so so good and has showed me that when you are truly faithful to Him, He will be faithful to you. It's a miracle. On my bucket list one of the things I have had on there for so long is to witness a miracle, and I can cross that one off now.
That girl who was dying and drowning a few posts back, has finally reached the surface. She has broken free from being held under for so long and feels like she has taken her first breath into her new life. The light is finally on her face and the darkness is gone from her heart.
Believe. Dream. Hope. Have faith.
Never give up. Miracles happen. I'm a true witness to that.
I don't even know how far along I am. I *think* maybe 4-6 weeks. I have my next beta testing on Thursday to make sure my numbers are rising. Please keep us in your prayers and thoughts. I am absolutely terrified of losing this baby. I have no idea when I can have my first u/s since I have no idea how far along I am. I just want to make sure IttyBitty has implanted in the right spot, has a sac and a beating heart. I think I may rest a little easier then.
I want to thank all of you for being so supportive in this journey. I'm going to stay on this blog until I finally have a baby in my arms. I love you all.
Never give up hope.
The Hidden Cross
2 days ago