Tuesday, June 22, 2010

BFP-the back story

So let's recap this cycle real quick...

We were doing our "Clomid Challenge Cycle" and getting all of the routine tests out of the way so we could move on to bigger and better things like IVF. Well, back on June 1st, I went in for my follicle check. The right ovary showed nothing worth mentioning. The left ovary was the one that had had the massive cyst on it for so long, so when we saw an 18mm "something" We assumed it was the cyst that had been there for months...I'm thinking now that was a 18mm follicle.

This past weekend, we went on a road trip to Sacramento for my husband's Grandfather's birthday. It's about a 6 hour drive from where we are in southern California, so when I had lower back cramping driving up there on friday, I thought nothing of it and just thought it had to do with the long car ride. Saturday I had the same lower back aches, but this time accompanied by waves of nausea and lower abdominal cramping. It happened a few times during the day and I thought I was getting sick. Sunday driving home, all the aches and nausea kept coming in waves and I was just so uncomfortable. My uterus and ovaries felt lke they were going to explode but in all honesty (here's TMI Amy again) I hadn't gone #2 the whole weekend (yes I have a wierd problem where it's hard to go on vacation) so I thought it was all from being constipated. We went out to dinner with my parents for Father's day and came home.

That night I was still having bad pains. Mike had already gone to bed and it was about 10pm or so. I still was feeling horrible, and then had a random thought that "Oh, maybe I'm going to ovulate!" I ran to the bathroom, after only holding it for about 30 min-an hour, and peed in a cup and used an OPK and saw the darkest positive on an OPK I have ever gotten. When I had gotten my OPKs out a box of FRER HPTs fell out of the cabinet and I just thought..."hmmmm, really really dark OPK, I've heard of it happening before...what the heck, when do I ever get to test??" So I dipped a HPT into the same cup and set it on the counter. I left the bathroom for literally about 90 seconds came back and there was a BLARING positive! I swear I almost fainted!

I took the stairs 2 at a time to get up to our bedroom to Mike and flipped the light switch. He half sat up and looked at me squinty eyed. I ran over half hysterical laughing, half hysterical crying which Mike later told me made him think that I had officially lost it....

...I threw the test at him....

...I yelled OMG is that real!?!?...

.........and then I fell to my knees on the floor at the side of the bed and BAWLED my eyes out.

Every tear that I have ever shed in the past 2 years has been worth it for this exact moment. God is so so good and has showed me that when you are truly faithful to Him, He will be faithful to you. It's a miracle. On my bucket list one of the things I have had on there for so long is to witness a miracle, and I can cross that one off now.

That girl who was dying and drowning a few posts back, has finally reached the surface. She has broken free from being held under for so long and feels like she has taken her first breath into her new life. The light is finally on her face and the darkness is gone from her heart.

Believe. Dream. Hope. Have faith.

Never give up. Miracles happen. I'm a true witness to that.

I don't even know how far along I am. I *think* maybe 4-6 weeks. I have my next beta testing on Thursday to make sure my numbers are rising. Please keep us in your prayers and thoughts. I am absolutely terrified of losing this baby. I have no idea when I can have my first u/s since I have no idea how far along I am. I just want to make sure IttyBitty has implanted in the right spot, has a sac and a beating heart. I think I may rest a little easier then.

I want to thank all of you for being so supportive in this journey. I'm going to stay on this blog until I finally have a baby in my arms. I love you all.

Never give up hope.

19 comments:

Kimberly said...

I'm so very happy for you and I can't wait to follow you on your journey over the next 9 months and ofcourse I will be stalking you on TMP. You have given me so much hope and i am waiting on God to bless me with our little miracle. I pray every day that he hasn't forgotten about us. i don't want it to happen one moment before he has intended it for us and being patient is the really hard part.

Salma said...

Never give uo hope, you're right. We all have different stories, but somehow we all ended up here.

So happy for you.

unaffected said...

So very happy for you! I knew you wouldn't drown! :)

Kelly said...

I want to hear how you told your family!!!! :)

Michelle said...

So amazing. Congratulations! Thank you for reminding me about hope & miracles.

Khedegah said...

Congratulations:) I am so happy for you. GOD WILLING you will have a beautiful, healthy child. YOU have given me a little lift, just when I need it:) Thank you! EVERY ONE SEEMS 2 BE PG LATELY :) will my turn be next..... God willing. You and your little one will be in my prayers. If it is a girl maybe you should name her HOPE , cos I am positive she has filled many TTCrs with HOPE LOL:) K

K said...

Wonderful news!! Congratulations!!!

Mrs. M said...

"God is so so good and has showed me that when you are truly faithful to Him, He will be faithful to you."

Thank you for this. It is such an encouragement.

Congratulations (again)! :-)

Janessa said...

That's such a beautiful story. It really does happen when you're least expecting it! I so look forward to following you over the next 9 months and can't wait to see what IttyBitty looks like!

And I want to hear how you told your family, too!

C said...

You are so blessed! Treasure every moment!!! (And a good friend once told me- that even if it took one cycle or 100, pregnancy is not easy, and you have the same right as anyone else to say how you feel!)

Holly said...

what a wonderful Father's Day gift. *hugs* sending lots of prayers for high beta numbers and a strong heartbeat <3

Max said...

Tickled pink for you! :)
Congrats!

Amanda said...

Amy, your story brought me to tears. I don't think I have ever been as happy and excited for anyone to be pregnant as I am for you! Like I said on TMP, I have said prayers for you several times over the last few years, especially in the last 6 months and it warms my hear to see that God has given you such a blessing.

On a total aside, I was also on a road trip to and from NJ during the time I actually "became" pregnant. I kept thinking I was about to ovulate and looking back now I see I was having pregnancy symptoms! I was cursing myself on vacation for not bringing an OPK with me to test while I was gone. And after I got my first positive HPT, I dipped an OPK and got the brightest pink line I'd ever seen! :)

Jillian said...

Good luck with your beta draw tomorrow!!!

Lindsay said...

hey love- always filled with joy for you... and praying for great numbers on that beta draw for you tomorrow! love you!

Lindsay said...

hey love- always filled with joy for you... and praying for great numbers on that beta draw for you tomorrow! love you!

Tillie said...

So exciting!!!! I will be praying for y'all that IttyBitty will be in your arms on March 1st :) *huge hugs*

Melissa said...

Congratulations Amy! I don't know how I missed this! You so deserve this and I'm so glad you finally have your BFP!!!!

Marisa said...

Congrats! So happy for you, it must be an awesome feeling.