Friday, October 30, 2009


I'm back and I have Clomid!! I am so so so beyond happy, I actually cried walking out of my Dr's office (and sang "I've got a golden ticket" from Willie Wonka while clutching my Clomid prescription!) ... I just hope for the first time in 16 months I will ovulate! Man I'm happy!

CD1 and 1st Infertility Appt Today!

CD 1 is here! And I have my appointment today in about an hour and a half, where I should be getting Clomid, and if I do, then I would take my first Clomid pill on Sunday!!! WOO-HOO! I'll update when I get back from my appointment! Keep your fingers crossed girls!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

This will be my first Clomid cycle!!

I'll be getting my Clomid on Friday and hopefully I will ovulate for the first time in 16 months!!!
I have to admit, I am a little bit scared, and I'm not 100% sure why.

I think I'm a little scared to find out that Clomid won't work for me (I hope it does) But there's always a chance.

I have that like excited nervous feeling too, if I do ovulate...this would be the first time that there will be any chance whatsoever to get pregnant. I'm so excited and so scared. Is it strange to feel scared?

Saturday, October 24, 2009

16 months

Today marks 16 looooooong months of TTC *sigh*

Thursday, October 22, 2009

I had to have 3 vials of blood drawn today for one of the infertility blood panels! Blecch!! I hate getting blood drawn! At least it's over now!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

DH cracks me up!

Here's the convo I just had with DH:

Me: "I think I want to try Pre-Seed"
DH: "Okay"
Me: "Do you even want know what it is?"
DH: "Not really *laughs*"
Me: "Jeeze, I just want to be able to talk about baby making!"
DH: "Oooooh, I thought it was something for Farmville."


God love him.

Good News!

After all the headaches I have had to go through with the Dr and trying to get the authorization for our infertility referral, they finally called today to say they finally did it correctly, and I finally get to go in!! Thank God!

My first appointment is Oct 30th, and I get to go in for my Clomid then!! So if the soy doesn't work this cycle, hopefully the Clomid will work for the next! I'm so excited I cried a happy tear!

Sunday, October 18, 2009

I have a new plan!

I still have not heard back from anyone about the authorization, although I have a feeling I will hear back by at least tuesday.

One of the girls in the forums brought up something today i have never heard of before... Soy Isoflavones. It's a vitamin and basically "natural Clomid". Well I did some reseach and looked at one of the big PCOS message boards and sooo many girls have tried this and it has gotten them to ovulate. I think I want to try it. I think tomorrow I will get my Provera filled, I will go buy some soy isoflavones and I will take them. I'm done waiting in my life and I need to be more proactive. You take them just like clomid on CD 3-7. I need to figure out how much to try first...some of the girls were doing 80mg a day and some were doing 400mg a day. I think for my first cycle, I will try 100mg. I heard a bottle of this stuff is about $8. Way cheaper than a bottle of Clomid and a $200 infertility appointment. If this stuff works, I will be so happy. Normally I'm not very easily excited about just trying "natural" ways, but if soooo many girls are saying it worked for them, I think I'm just a little excited!

Thursday, October 15, 2009

I <3 TMP

One of the girls on the message boards in the TTC forum that I'm guide in, started an appreciation thread for me yesterday, and it made me cry many happy tears :) I just wanted to post it here so I can always find it.

I love all of the girls there so much and I couldn't have asked for a better support group. <3

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Long jibberish post.

One of the nurses from Dr C's office called me this morning and said that their girl messed up and did it as a pass through instead of a whole infertility workup (not news to me) and she apologized about 3278943 times and said normally it takes about 2 weeks for an authorization to come back but they will just be focusing on mine and are marking it as "urgent" and it should only take about 72 hours for it to come back. She said since I've waited so long, they don't think it's fair that I wait any longer. Thank God! She said she would call me when they have the authorization back. Finally I feel like we're back on the right once again we wait for the authorization.

I had an amazing dream last night that I found out I was pregnant. In my dream I had taken every pregnancy test I owned and all of them were positive. I was so so happy and full of love. Mike and I were telling everyone that finally we had the answer to our prayers. I was so in love with what felt like everything in the world and nothing could bring me down. I literally woke up holding my stomach as if there were a tiny baby in there somewhere. And I swear I layed in bed for a good solid minute with a complete euphoric feeling untill I realized it was a dream and the truth came crashing down all around me again. It was like someone screamed "WAKE UP YOU INFERTILE IDIOT!" Such a shocking feeling.

Mike and I had a very long heart to heart yesterday evening sitting on our porch, in between the rain spells, in sweats & drinking hot tea. We talked about everything involving TTC and everything that may still lay ahead of us on our journey. We talked about our fears and our hopes. We talked about money and finance and how we would be able to afford certain treatments. We talked about IVF and religious views and frozen embryos. We talked about how far we wanted our journey to go. We talked about adoption. We talked ALOT, and I think that talk was way overdue and I'm glad we had it. I feel so close to my husband. We are a team and we need to make sure we're always going to be on the same page. We're in this together...for better or for worse.

I just don't know how much more I can take. Emotionally, I am drained. I just hope and pray to God with all my heart and soul that very soon our cries will be heard and our prayers will be answered. I pray that there is a light at the end of this tunnel and I hope that very soon there will be someone to call us Mom & Dad.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009


The insurance lady "mickey" from SJH called this morning and said she still didn't have the approved referral in!!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH PEOPLE!?!? I mean seriously, how many effing times do we have to go thru this!?!? I'm soo over everything!!!

Monday, October 12, 2009

Finally some progress

So I called to make sure that appt. was canceled today so I didn't get stuck with a huge infertility appointment charge, it wasn't but she canceled it for me, and she said she didn't see any notes that said if we had gotten our authorization back yet and to call my primary Dr. So I called my primary later in the day and one of his nurses said it got approved!! YAY! So I called back to SJMC to make our first infertility appointment, but the lady that does the infertility scheduling wasn't in today so I left her a message and hopefully I'll hear back from her tomorrow! Yay! Hopefully I can get in soon!

Sunday, October 11, 2009

I guess my Dr has my old number from when I lived at home, because my mom said they called yesterday to confirm my appointment for monday...I thought that insurance lady had to cancel it?? I think I'll call Monday morning early and see if the authorization has gone thru and if it has, I can go in at 10 am to the appointment and get my clomid...but if not I'll have to cancel it. I know the insurance lady doesn't work on Mondays, so chances are I won't be able to go in...we'll see.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

So I counted it out and it's only been 6 business days since I have seen my Dr, so chances are the authorization wouldn't have gone thru anyways yet...I'll wait till next week to call.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Waiting is my middle name.

I still haven't heard anything back from my Dr's insurance yet on if we got the authorization to proceed with our infertility treatments. If I don't hear from them by tomorrow I'll give them a call on Thursday. And still we wait.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Need Strength.

I find strength in this quote.

"Worship the Lord your God, and his blessing will be on your food and water. I will take away sickness from among you." Exodus 23:25

Anyone have any quotes they find strength in?