Tuesday, June 30, 2009

IUI Costs

I called SJH right now and she said the IUIs are about $593, but she wasn't sure if that included the spinning and wash for DH. From what I've researched, "washing" can be around $150, so if it's not included then we're probably looking at around $750 per IUI. I thought it was alot more, so that's kinda good.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Dr. Appt. Update


Ohh yeeeeah...that's my daily pill supply. We upped my metformin today to 2000mg a day from 1500mg. She said she wanted to try the full strength of the Metformin before we tried Clomid, which I understand, and my wallet is thankful because the Met is covered on our insurance...Clomid-not so much. She also perscribed another round of the Provera to induce my next cycle, so I don't run a risk of uterine cancer.

My next appointment is in September, and if I haven't started then, we'll induce again and make plans for Clomid in October. She actually said that she would recommend CLOMID+IUI right off the bat in October since we will be TTC for 16 months by then. So DH and I will talk and try to figure out if we want to just try a couple cycled of Clomid on our own first, or if we just want to dive in head first and go for the IUI. I'm not sure how I feel about it yet. Part of me just wants to do it, but part of me just wants to try at least a couple cycles on our own. I need to find out also what the IUI's cost at my Dr. She didn't know, but said I could call St. Jude's insurance and find out, because our own insurance covers like next to nothing for fertility treatments.

In September Mike will probably have to do his first SA, and from what he's said hes 100% okay with it, which makes me happy, because I know that can be completely embarassing. I'll have to do a few extra tests too.

The good thing is that my OBGYN can prescribe the Clomid and do the IUI, so I won't have to find an RE (yet). It's just crazy that we were sitting there today planning for a possiable IUI a few months from now. I always think of IUI's as like "the big leauge". I've come a long way.


For those of you that don't understand the abbreviations, you can find them all here http://ttcbabyblog.blogspot.com/2009/03/for-kaitlin-claire.html

CD 104

I have my next appointment with my OBGYN today in a couple hours. Probably will just induce with Provera again...I'll update when I get back. Cycle day 104.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Another Prayer Request.

Please keep my beloved cousin Lindsay in your prayers. She is having a rough pregnancy, and we are praying that she makes it to at least 36 weeks. Please pray she has a happy and healthy next few weeks and that my new baby girl cousin makes it into this world safely and soundly. <3

Monday, June 22, 2009

feel like my cysts are growing.

I feel like my cysts are growing. I don't know if they really are but the past like 5 days I have been cramping in both ovaries. And alot of lower back cramping too. I don't think it's any kind of ovulation pains because both ovaries are doing it. Anyone w/ PCOS or with cysts, can you feel when they get bigger?

Saturday, June 20, 2009

525,600 minutes

Any theater junkies like myself will get that.

It will actually be a year on the 24th, but that’s also DH’s birthday and I didn’t want a crappy post on his birthday.

FYI- Despite my typically cheerful personality…this post will not be sugar-coated.

Well, it’s been a year.

One whole year.

I don’t know why…there’s just something about hitting your first year mark. It’s kind of like that final slap in the face saying: “yes, you’re considered infertile, you need further help because your body just doesn’t even know what the hell it’s doing.” Doctor’s always want you to “try for a year” before they help…well here I am! I think what pisses me off the most though is that we haven’t even gotten to really try.


I think back a year ago when I went off BC…how stupid I was to think that it would just happen. Everything was just perfect then, Mike and I thinking we could just poof…create a life…from love. What a load of crap. Our baby won’t be created by love, but by pills and meds and tests and procedures. Maybe that’s my love…going the DISTANCE instead of it happening easily.

Stupid silly girl.

I feel like I’m in my own personal hell. Depression has taken its toll. Every waking minute is spent fixated on the one thing that I cannot have. The one thing that I would give anything for.

I just want a chance, I just want a chance, I just want a chance.

I want to try and talk to my doctor at my appointment on the 29th about starting Clomid early. She wants us to wait 4 more months, just taking the metformin. I don’t think I’m bitter about not being pregnant, but just the fact that my body won’t drop a freakin’ egg. I’d gladly try for another whole year if I could just have a normal cycle and ovulate like I’m supposed to.

I have faith it will happen, yes that I do. It’s just a long road getting there.


PS Sorry if that was way too much venting, I think I needed to let it out. This has been a hard week with my uncle passing and the one year mark upon us. Too many things running thru my head.

Friday, June 19, 2009


My uncle that I posted about a while back passed away today. I don't feel like writing about it right now...Please keep my family in your prayers. I will miss him very much.

Monday, June 15, 2009

CD 90

Vegas was awesome...lots of fun had by all I'll try and do a quick run-down
-pick up KJ
-drive to vegas
-Sonic in Victorville?? We've never been let's go
-nasty tootsieroll slush
-stop at Calico
-guhzizzard (our mix between godzilla and a lizzard...it was huge)
-stateline meet up w/ greg r, greg l, Kristin, Britt, steve, Jon
-check in at luxor ultimate connecting party room/rooms
-get ready and head downstairs
-gamble, drink, gamble
-find Steve, jimmy, Lance, David and Rachael in bar
-vip wristbands for cathouse
-didn't go to cathouse
-on the list for Tryst
-didn't end up going to tryst
-walk down strip
-drunk guy pissing me off
-KJ wants to go back to hotel
-back in room at 2

-hung out in casino all day
-me: I want to play video poker. mike: okay...mike wins $200
-an hour later: me: oh lets play video poker again. mike: Okay...mike wins $200 again
-got ready
-went to Venitian for cocktail party in U.M.'s suite
-RBV's VWV's and too much talk about VTM lol
-didn't take Met so I could drink
-took 4328914 pictures
-left party around 11?
-Mike bought me a huge swarovski crystal zebra ring
-O'shays with like 30 people from my family
-Ceasars gambling
-Ceasars frozen drinks outside, thank you Stevus
-Cab ride back
-Mike's hungry, we didnt have dinner
-Mc Donalds at 3am
-Criss Angel ordering food next to me
-Criss Angel elbows me in the arm...me:ouch...Criss Angel: OMG honey I am so so sorry!

Random, fun trip.

So cd 90 and nothin's changes, still get pangs/twinges in both ovaries every single day. Today I started taking Vitex & Dong Quai to hopefully try and regulate. I'll pretty much try anything at this point. I have a Dr. appt on the 29th to induce again and talk about what's happened...which will be nothing...the 26th marks one whole year of TTC...oh joy of joys.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Going to Vegas tomorrow with my huge polish family for my cousin's birthday! Happy birthday Claire! I love you! Hopefully lady luck will be with me and either bring me lots o' cash, or a BFP one day soon! The only thing that sucks is because of the Metformin, I have one beer and I'm done lol. Cheap date. Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Each player must accept the cards life deals him or her: but once they are in hand, he or she alone must decide how to play the cards in order to win the game.-- Voltaire

Monday, June 8, 2009

My sister

I was at Disneyland with my sister today and she is so cute...she bought me this ribbon/bracelet that you tie around your wrist that says "never give up on your dreams". It was so sweet, and I just wanted to share. I love you Kaitlin!

Sunday, June 7, 2009

CD 82

Yes...that's right...I said 82!! Had a random emotional breakdown today. I don't know why it hit me or what caused it. Just sudden heartache. I just wish I was normal. I wish I didn't have PCOS. I wish I didn't have to be on meds that make me so tired and feel so yucky. I get the most random waves of nausea too, like today I was at work and I was doing a full weave and I was totally fine all day, but when I had my client at the bowl and went to take the foils out to rinse and root lift her, the smell of the color really really got to me and I almost puked right there in the shampoo bowl. I kept having to hold my breath every time I pulled out more foils, and had to lean way back when doing her root lift. It was so random, the smell of haircolor has never bothered me before.

I know God has plans for my life, and I know I can't make demands. I know He has something in the works for us, but sometimes it's hard. A couple weeks ago I went out to my car and someone had left a little card on the windshield of my car with a quote from James 1:12... "Blessed are those who endure when they are tested. When they pass the test, they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him." I don't know who put it on my car, but I know what it means to me. I put the card on my dashboard so I see it everytime I get into my car. Even though it's hard, it reminds me not to be bitter or angry. I'm sure it was just a random missionary type person who stuck it on my car, but I wish I knew who it was so I could thank them. I pray the Lord blesses them, whoever they are. So I'll just keep on truckin'.

Mike and I just renewed our Disneyland passes, I think I'm gonna try and talk him into taking me tomorrow. There's no problem a few spins around space mountain can't solve!


Wednesday, June 3, 2009


BFN, again.

Oh well...I think I have my next Dr appointment the end of this month. She siad she wants us to try the Metformin for 6 months till we try Clomid. I'm not ovulating at all (I think) and her only reasoning for waiting is that once "infertility" gets put on my chart it's there forever.....I don't get why we'd have to wait?? I really have no faith that my body will do it on it's own with just the Met. She also said "well you're young" I'm gonna be 27 this year and DH 31. I know we're not old, but I want to at least be pregnant with my 2nd by the time I'm 30!

I don't know...anyone have any input why she wants us to wait for the Clomid?

Monday, June 1, 2009

Tested anyways

And it was a BFN. Not suprised.

I'll do another on Thursday.