Friday, February 20, 2009

Coon Tails

I'm CD 49 with another negative OPK.

I wish I could just ttc like most people.
I wish I had a perfect little 28 day cycle.
I wish I could O on CD14.
I wish I could temp for a purpose.
I wish I could get excited around CD24.
Even if I was getting BFN's all the time, I would sit there and think, "well that kind of sucks, but hey, I've got another perfect cycle right around the corner.

Instead I sit here doing nothing because nothing is all I can do right now.
Instead I cry not because I don't have a baby, but because I don't have a period.
Instead I wait 6 months at a time for a cycle to pass.
Instead I take so many OPK's hoping one will show positive so we can try.

OK pity party OVER!

Just wanted to get that out. ((...shakes it off...))

I pray that on March 2nd when I go in to see my OBGYN he will take pity on me for never having periods, and I pray that he will just try and induce my periods and then give me something to keep them regular.

I have been doing so well eating right and exercising. So that's a good thing which I think will only help me get healthier and hopefully help me to have periods.

It's just kinda scary not knowing what the heck is wrong with you, and I always think the worst.

Today at work Malorie (BFF) and I were messing with eachother's hair after my clients, and I felt like I needed something to make me feel better. (When hairstylists need to feel better, we typically like to change our hair, lol, don't ask me why, we just do.) So I put coon tails in my hair...and I LOVE them! (if you don't know what coon tails are they are like a chunk of your hair that's striped.) Google image it, it'll come up. But yeah, I feel way better about myself after that lol.

My new project to try and keep my mind off of my non-existant periods is totally re-vamping our back patio. We have a large patio area off of our apartment and it was sooo gross out there from all the rain and dirt and stuff, so the other day I put on my old clothes, bought a new hose and went to town scrubbing it up like crazy and trying to rake up all the leaves that had fallen from a tree that hangs over our patio (which drops about 93247109741 leaves a day!) By the end I was completely muddy and covered in filth but the patio was sparkling clean! So now's the fun part............gardening, shopping and decorating...oh my!


"When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place."
~ Unknown

1 comment:

Hollister said...

I am glad you have some projects to keep you upbeat!!