Coon Tails

I'm CD 49 with another negative OPK.

I wish I could just ttc like most people.
I wish I had a perfect little 28 day cycle.
I wish I could O on CD14.
I wish I could temp for a purpose.
I wish I could get excited around CD24.
Even if I was getting BFN's all the time, I would sit there and think, "well that kind of sucks, but hey, I've got another perfect cycle right around the corner.

Instead I sit here doing nothing because nothing is all I can do right now.
Instead I cry not because I don't have a baby, but because I don't have a period.
Instead I wait 6 months at a time for a cycle to pass.
Instead I take so many OPK's hoping one will show positive so we can try.

OK pity party OVER!

Just wanted to get that out. ((...shakes it off...))

I pray that on March 2nd when I go in to see my OBGYN he will take pity on me for never having periods, and I pray that he will just try and induce my periods and then give me something to keep them regular.

I have been doing so well eating right and exercising. So that's a good thing which I think will only help me get healthier and hopefully help me to have periods.

It's just kinda scary not knowing what the heck is wrong with you, and I always think the worst.

Today at work Malorie (BFF) and I were messing with eachother's hair after my clients, and I felt like I needed something to make me feel better. (When hairstylists need to feel better, we typically like to change our hair, lol, don't ask me why, we just do.) So I put coon tails in my hair...and I LOVE them! (if you don't know what coon tails are they are like a chunk of your hair that's striped.) Google image it, it'll come up. But yeah, I feel way better about myself after that lol.

My new project to try and keep my mind off of my non-existant periods is totally re-vamping our back patio. We have a large patio area off of our apartment and it was sooo gross out there from all the rain and dirt and stuff, so the other day I put on my old clothes, bought a new hose and went to town scrubbing it up like crazy and trying to rake up all the leaves that had fallen from a tree that hangs over our patio (which drops about 93247109741 leaves a day!) By the end I was completely muddy and covered in filth but the patio was sparkling clean! So now's the fun part............gardening, shopping and decorating...oh my!

A


"When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place."
~ Unknown