Sunday, August 23, 2009

Cry

First off, Lindsay if you're reading this before your shower tonight, read no further or you'll know what I made you.


Anyways, last night Mike and I were at Ralphs and we were buying diapers and baby bottles because my cousin who had her baby early is having her shower tonight and I wanted to make her a cute diaper cake. (If you want to make one check out my new crafty blog http://littlepinkdollhouse.blogspot.com/) So we get up to check out, and Mike's putting all the stuff on the counter and the checker sees all the diapers and stuff and looks at me and says "I'll be right with you MOM." I swear it was like a movie, and it was so slow motion when she said MOM and it stopped me dead in my tracks. I turned around to face Mike and he had that like 'sad smile' that you put on when you're being sympathetic and all he said was "aww buddy." I didn't correct the checker because I just didn't have it in me. We got out to the car, both got in and that's when the tears started falling. So last night I was a little broken hearted, and I just had to put it down, so one day when I'm really buying diapers for me I can think about this and laugh...just right now, it's not so funny.

6 comments:

Jenn said...

Oh no I am so sorry. That must have been awful. And I know that sad face so well!

I have been asked several times "when im due" UGH! I realize I am overweight so it's assumed, but when you are suffering from infertility, it is heartbreaking!

HelloKitty said...

UGH! People can be so stupid! Unless you see me holding a child, or one coming out of my nether regions, don't assume!

DawnMarieTTC said...

So sorry that happened to you. I know how you feel, almost the exact same situation happened to me, except I was buying baby clothes for a friend who is due any day now. I am a bit over weight, (and the fertility medications don't help that matter any either) and the tank top I was wearing that day was one with the stripe just under he boobs that ties in the back. My hubby alwasy tells me it reminds him of a maternity shirt, and I always argue about it since it is not a mat. shirt and so many now days have the ties under the boobs...well needless to say I havent wore the tank top since, I guess he was right. I got as far as getting out of the store and had tears running down my face. Everyone I passed in the parking lot just started at me, and once I got to the car I broke down and full out bawled. I probably sat there for almost 1/2 a hour before my hubby called and was wondering where I was.

ttcnslc said...

I'm so sorry.... I'm 39 and ttc while going through fertility treatments. I just started a blog in order to vent my feelings and frustrations. My husband is struggling to understand me... www.ttcnslc.wordpress.com

lindsayreskey said...

first off - i love you... and i love my diapee cake... and i love your new blog...

secondly, i have been thinking of you and praying for you this week especially... i so appreciated having you at the shower, i know those things can be hard when you are ttc, and the damn checker had to make it that much easier on you, huh? stink.

I was browsing around on etsy and saw this quote....
grief is born not of loss but of love
you have so much love in your heart... remember that your grief and longing is born from a beautiful place in your heart, even though sometimes it feels so icky... one of these days that longing is going to be filled...

i hoping that rubbing paige on you got some ovulation hormone to trigger... do we need to go out and toast to your uterus? i love you my amykins...

HelloKitty said...

I love that quote Lindsay! And I had no problem being at your shower. I think because you are my cousin, it wasn't even hard at all, I think I was just so excited to finally meet my new cousin! And yes I think we need to toast to my ovaries again lol...maybe this time you'll only be toasting with apple juice since you're breastfeeding lol I love you cousin! xoxo