pushing it back

Sooo, I think I'm pushing my test date back to thursday, because if I did O on the 21st, then I'd only be 11dpo tomorrow...so I'm just gonna wait a bit longer. Plus I'm like 99% sure I'll get a BFN, and I don't really want to go all crazy with testing...just wasting my money and making my mind crazy!

2ww? maybe. maybe not

Just thinking back to the 20th and 21st of this month, the days w/ all the ouchies. I'm wondering if that was O. If it was (which I hope it was) then I might be in my first ever 2ww which would be amazing. I took OPKs but didn't get a positive, but they do say that girls w/ PCOS sometimes won't ever get a positive on an OPK even if they are Oing. I think just to be safe I'm going to set a test date for June 1st. I don't have the highest hopes...but just in case.

Nausea, Bloating & so tired...oh my!

Ugggggggh! I have been soo nauseous, bloated & tired tired tired! I don't know if it's the Metformin making me feel this way or something else. I test like everyday just because I never know if I've O'd or not, so I wouldn't even know what DPO I am if I had. Everything is always negative (of course) but I think I have a special talent for seeing lines when there really are none on tests...Mike has to quickly pull me back down to reality when insisting there's nothing there...how I wish there was though!

We've been married a year!

It's after midnight and that means today is our one year wedding anniversary! I can't believe how fast time has flown! Today also marks 11 months of ttc. Today will be happy! We have a birthday party to go to, then we're going to renew our Disneyland passes and be little kids at the happiest place on earth. Mike made reservations for the Blue Bayou, and I'm excited because I've never eaten there!

I love you Mike!

A

More Ouchies

Something is going on in my baby making parts! I don't know what it is, I was super crampy and nautious feeling this morning. I felt my right ovary pulsing last night for a good long minute and kinda a little pinch. I'm really hoping it's O. I always sleep on my stomach and this morning I felt so nautious I could only get comfy on my back. I hope that not me just getting sick. Please O! Please please please!

Ouch!

Last night I woke up twice late late at night with sharp shooting pains in my uterus! I have no idea what it was. Each time it only lasted for about 30 seconds, but it was so painful!! Like that kind of pain where it hurts so bad you feel like you have to throw up. Anyone ever experiance this?

Charlie Chaplin Must Have Known Me

Smile though your heart is aching

Smile even though it’s breaking

When there are clouds in the sky, you’ll get by

If you smile through your fear and sorrow

Smile and maybe tomorrow

You’ll see the sun come shining through for you

Nothing really to update on

I'm CD 61. I'm up to 1500mg Metformin a day, hoping it will do something. I have like a month and a half till my next Dr. appt and if I haven't started AF by then she will induce me again with Provera. My TTC life is just standing still.

Next week Mike and I will celebrate our first wedding anniversary...ironically that same day will be our 11 month mark of TTC...Ho hum

1000 Hits

Wow, 1000 hits on my blog so far.

Mike and I just wanted to thank everyone

who has been following our TTC journey.

It means so much to have so many people

supporting and rooting for us. Thank you

all for your kind thoughts/words/prayers.

We love you all!

Double Doses and Onesies

Today is the first day of taking my double dose of meds. Last week I was taking 750mg Metformin, and starting today and here on out I'm on 1500mg. I took my first one this morning with breakfast and It didn't make me feel too well, headache and upset tummy and I just took my 2nd one about 30 minutes ago with dinner, so we'll see how I'm feeling in an hour. Honestly, I don't mind the upset tummy and as weird as it sounds, I'm kinda loving it, becasue I know it's going to do wonderful things for us. I'd take any kind of pain, just to have a baby in my belly!

The other day I found a website that lets you custom design your own onesies (http://www.makeaonesie.com/) and I made 2 for our baby stash! <3 I made them for DH. All of DH's friends call him "Mike Danger" because...well..he's the complete opposite of dangerous *giggles*, so the first one I made it says "Baby Danger". It's soooo cute! For the other one...Mike LOVES Will Ferrell and SNL...and If you've seen SNL's The Best of Will Ferrell, you know the "cow bell" sketch with Christopher Walken...well that's one of Mike's favorites, so at the top there's an over the top cutesy cartoon cow and underneath it says "I gotta have more cowbell". They just got delivered today and OMG they looked sooo cute!! I think the only thing cuter than the onesies, was Mikes face when he opened them...He laughed and had the sweetest "I want a baby" look on his face...it really touched my heart how much he loved them! Now...just have to make a baby to put in them!

My life story has the best characters in it.

I thought today was going to be kind of a crappy day, but life had other plans for me, so instead of being bitter, I am thankful

Thankful for my mother on mother's day for giving me life.

Thankful for my wonderful husband who woke up super early before I got out of bed and had a "happy mother's day" basket of candy and a balloon waiting for me, and told me it was from our dog Harley, and that Harley loved his mommy.

I'm thankful for being able to spend time with my family today.

I'm thankful for a letter my father and mother wrote to me for today about how they overcame their infertility issues, and about how God answered their prayers...and I'm thankful for a small but very touching and powerful gift my father gave me that he had been carrying around in his wallet for the past 30 years...passing it down to me.

I thought I would be sad, but today I am happy.
I thought I would be angry, but today was filled with laughter.
I thought today would make me feel like the biggest failure as a woman...
...but instead I feel hopeful.

...yes...today I am thankful



Happy mothers day.

Hello Cramps!

Holy Moley do I have cramps. They started out kind of mild yesterday and my OPK for yesterday was darker than it ever has been, but still not even close to a positive, So I woke up today feeling SUPER crampy, bloated and a bit nauseous so I was thinking omg, I wonder if I'm gonna O ( If I did I know it wouldn't be from the metformin, way too early) So I took an OPK expecting it to be a full blown positive, but nope, not so much. I'm wondering if I'm just feeling like this because of the metformin, which my Dr. did say some people get upset stomachs from it, but she didnt say anything about cramping and bloating.....ooohh I just felt one of my ovaries pulse lol, weird...whatever it is, I'm just excited that maybe they are doing something since they haven't done anything in a long time! Geesh! Gotta earn their keep around here! ha-ha OK now I'm getting delirious and weird, I'd better go.

Help Stamp Out Hunger!

Saturday May 9th 2009. All you have to do is place non perishable food items for donation in a bag and place them next to your mailbox for your postal carrier to pick up!

http://www.helpstampouthunger.com/

I love my husband

Mike's on the other couch and Harley is laying on his lap, and Mike is talking to the dog and smiling, and I don't know why it's just so sweet to me right now.
Harley: Achoo!
Mike: (in a cute voice) Oh my goodness! Did you just sneeze? Oh goodness, bless you..bless you..my good boy

He's gonna make such a good daddy.

Lord, please help me make him a dad.

GTT Results

I had my follow up for my GTT results this morning. My blood sugar was good, so no kind of diabetes whatsoever which is awesome. She said that my testosterone level was higher than it should be which made me think I'm turning into a man. Kidding.

She clinically diagnosed me with PCOS and prescribed Metformin for me, which will help my body to ovulate! YAY! I'm excited! She said it will take a while for it to work, like anywhere from a month to 2 months, but heck, I've waited this long, what's another couple of months!?!

I'm really excited, not because I have PCOS, but because I finally have a diagnosis and a medication to counter it!

I just want to ovulate! I mean is that so much to ask? The end of next month, we will have been TTC for a whole year, and during that time to not O at all...well it really puts a damper on the whole TTC thing lol.

I'm happy today.

Hate all this waiting...

Tomorrow I finally go back to my Dr to get my results from my GTT. As much as I don't want anything to be "wrong" with me, I just hope they found something that shows why I don't ovulate, and hopefully my Dr will put me on Metformin or something like that. If nothing shows up, I might be a little bummed, since that means no meds yet. I just want to ovulate!!!!!!

I will update tomorrow!