Sunday, May 16, 2010

Feeling better

I just wanted to thank you all for the amazing warm and comforting responses on my last post. I was just having "one of those days" where literally everything was making me cry and feel so down on myself. I have to say that when I woke up today I felt much much better. I think, like alot of you said, you just have to let yourself feel sad when you need to. I love that I have this place to get it all out there in the open and I love even more the amazing support system that I have found here. I love you girls so much!

I don't think I'll really be leaving the MB's, I can''s been my home for so long and I can't fully cut it out of my life...but if I get too overwhelmed, I know I can just click that little red button at the top right of my screen and it makes it all okay. :)

Temped again today and got a whopping 98.8 which is pretty high.

FF didn't give me CHs, and I went ahead and entered in fake temps for the next 3 days just to see and it doesn't do CHs either. If I enter in random temps on the days I didn't temp, I get dotted or solid CHs (depending on the temps I choose)...either for last sunday (which is the last day we have BD) or for 3 days ago (which if that's the case, I don't think we BD anywhere close to where we should have.)

So my body has done one of 2 things, either another cyst burst (which I don't think is the case since I feel nothing like the last time when it burst and I had CHs on my chart)...or for the first time in TTC history I Oed. *shrugs* Even if I did O, and it was timed right, I wonder if my lining would be too thick since I'm on CD 53. I don't know, I'm not too concerned...if AF is here by either the beginning or the end of next week I'll know something happend. (If I did O, I could be anywhere from 3-7dpo)

I don't think I'm going to request a Projesterone draw since I'm between Drs right now and I can't call my new RE since we haven't had our first consult yet, and since I'm not referred to my old Dr anymore, I'd have to pay for the draw, and I really don't want to do that.

So I'm a little in limbo, but honestly, that's okay. Limbo is way better than nothing..and nothing is usually what I get. :) Love you all. xoxo


Greeny said...

So glad to hear that you are feeling better today. It is so much like that. They described TTC like I rollercoaster. I disagree. It is more like swimming the ocean. You have a destination but there is no map to guide you. The seas can get quite rough and while you can be riding high on a wave, sometimes you'll get dumped and hard... it hurts, the wind is knocked out of you and you wonder if you're just going to die there and then. But the water carries you back to the surface to keep on swimming.

I am excited for your ovulation! Ovulation = hope! Not only is it progress, it is a chance. :-D Maybe it isn't the best one, but at least you've got something to step from. That in itself is a good thing!

Emi said...

I've been away from the blog-sphere for a few I didn't get a chance to send you a *hugs* on your last post.

I'm so glad to hear you're doing better today. It's so unfortunately that TTC is such a wild ride of emotions that change not only from day-to-day but, quite literally, hour-to-hour.


I'm keeping my fingers crossed for your ovulation!