Never will I understand why 15 year olds get pregnant with twins while on the pill, while so many amazing men and women who could fully care for and are 100% ready to care of a new life have to wait years. Why are we tried time and time again for the only thing in life we would give anything for, while so many who don't even want that thing get it so easily?
Infertility forever changes you. It will always be a part of you. It's just like those people you know or hear about who go to war and suffer so much, and then return and something about them is forever different. This is our war. No matter how many children you have after battling infertility, it will always stick with you. You will always mourn loss of time, loss of babies from miscarriage, loss of normal life. Loss is a main character in this war...but we also have so much to gain.
We gain the ability to TRULY know, above all other parents, what a miracle our babies are.
We gain the feeling of utter love/happiness/success when finally seeing the word "pregnant" on a digital pregnancy test, when others would feel scared.
We gain the ability to never take anything for granted when it comes to our future children.
We gain the ability to never complain about being pregnant, or having morning sickness, or feeling pain from your ligaments stretching.
We gain the ability to tell our babes, when they are in our arms, how much they were wanted. How long we kept going to have them. How much we put our bodies through just to bring them here.
We gain the ability to have "miracle babies".
We gain empathy for others who are struggling in life, even outside of infertility.
I think it's safe to say that we can count our gains much more than our losses.
We are fighters. We are warriors. We are amazingly strong men and women. We have been conditioned to be the best parents on the face of the earth, and by that I feel lucky...
...So I raise my glass (of sparkling cider) to my infertile family tonight...all of you who suffer, past or present, empty hearts and empty bellies...all of you who consider yourselves "womb warriors" or "fertility fighters"...we are amazing people, and we have alot to gain.
A Fond Farewell
2 weeks ago