World's worst mom award

....right here, give it to me. So we are still supplementing during the night since my supply is so low around then Jack gets pissed and is starving. Before bed, I will put 4 bottles out on the counter in our master bath with premeasured powder in them so when I wake up and need to feed him, I just pour in the water and mix, it makes it super easy for us. Last night I woke up for his second feeding around 4ish dead tired, we had only slept like 4 hours the night before and I honestly can't remember the last time I had felt so exhausted. Jackson's crying because he's hungry and DH woke up to hold him while I made a bottle. I pick up one of the bottles, pour in the water, shake it up and hand it to DH so he can start feeding him so I can potty. Well I come back out, and wash my hands and look at the counter where I keep the bottles and notice 3 bottles with powder in them. He had already eaten once around midnight so there should have only been 2 bottles with powder in them, one dirty bottle from the last feeding and the bottle Jack was eating from at that moment....you can see where this is going...

I FREAKING POURED WATER INTO THE DIRTY BOTTLE AND GAVE IT TO HIM! I ran over and grabbed it from DH and Jack had eaten like an ounce and a half of it my poor baby! DH didn't notice it because it was so dark in the room...ugh! That's my confession, now hand over my award!

6week pp and a bittersweet moment

I had my 6week pp checkup this past tuesday. She said everything looked great and I was healing nicely. I'm still a little sore but she said because I'm breastfeeding my skin is really dry and it may still be sore from all the tearing that went on. I asked about the next time we want to TTC and the good news is since I already have the PCOS/Infertility diagnosis with my RE down the hall from her, we don't have to do the year of TTC and can just go straight back there which made me really happy. The totally crazy part? Walking right past my RE's door pushing my 6 week old son in his stroller. I peeked in through the window wanting to see my RE or our nurse so they could see Jackson but I saw a patient in the waiting room and didn't want to go in pushing a stroller. It was just so crazy...looking in there and remembering the times we sat in that waiting room...but standing outside the door with my very own child...it made me want to smile yet cry at the same time. Just one of those crazy moments...